Friday, May 16, 2014

Life is Crazy

I've come to the conclusion that this life is full of insanity. Insane schedules, deadlines, bills, social interactions or lack thereof, pets, neighbors, and being a parent. I've had trouble, for a long time, with the fact that my time is no longer my own. Hardly any of it. Maybe one hour daily, and it's not even sixty consecutive minutes, is devoted solely to me. And honestly, in six months, the amount of time will decrease.

Some of you may know, some may not, but I'm expecting my second child this coming November. Being a stay-at-home mom, there's a silly impression that we just sit around all day watching TV. I get about 25 minutes of TV time before my toddler is asleep, and that's an episode of "Ni Hao, Kai-lan," the only show he really shows any interest in. The rest of my day is spent cleaning, picking up the same toys some fifty odd times so I don't trip on them, entertaining my son, reading him the same book five or more times in a row because he insists, doing my best to guide him when he has a temper tantrum because he wants to communicate and can only say a few words thus far, changing diapers, taking the brief time he's asleep to walk the dog, take out the trash, take care of my flowers and garden, take a shower if I'm lucky... And if it's a day smiled upon by the gods, I might get to sit down and eat a meal without sharing every third bite with my son and have a bit of computer time before he awakens. The afternoon is lather, rinse, repeat, then my husband gets home, we do dinner, then he bathes the mini monster and puts him to bed so I can do the dishes and sometimes walk the dog a second time.

Regardless, I'm still forcing myself to make time to write. Even if it's just 500 words a day, a page or two is better than nothing. And I know that I feel better on the days when I make that little bit of time for myself. Is it rough, not being able to sit down for hours at a time, just hammering away at the keys while the worlds pour from my brain to the page? Yes. Immensely.

I guess the point I'm trying to get at is this: no matter how crazy busy and stressful life can get, you have to always make time for yourself. It might not be as much as you want, or how often you wish it could be, but if typing on your phone for ten minutes in the bathroom is what you have to do, do it. If you really want to write, dance, paint, sing, or whatever your dream is, lamenting about not having the time to do so takes up precious time when you could be doing that thing you want to. Quit yer bitchin' and get on it!

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